For those of you just tuning in, "This Guy is Falling" follows the educational exploits of Mr. Birds-Eye, a high school teacher in his third year of teaching, traditionally the make or break year in the profession. Fearing that he has finally reached his wits end, Birds-Eye decides to write a blog in hopes that he can reboot his year by focusing on the positives of the profession.
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
I haven't been doing my homework lately. I got six more days of school, and the last thing that I want to do when I get home is talk about school, but...
Here's a quickie.
So I'm giving my last vocab test of the year tomorrow. As a review, I have my students fill out four boxes. The first box asks for the definition, the second a synonym, the third an image that the vocab word conjures in their mind, and the fourth a sentence containing the word.
One of the vocab words was exterior, which believe it or not is a SAT word. This is one kid's definition:
"An exterior is the cover for the interior."
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Day Fifty-Nine
For those of you just tuning in, "This Guy is Falling" follows the educational exploits of Mr. Birds-Eye, a high school teacher in his third year of teaching, traditionally the make or break year in the profession. Fearing that he has finally reached his wits end, Birds-Eye decides to write a blog in hopes that he can reboot his year by focusing on the positives of the profession.
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
My kids continued their presentations today (See blog, day fifty-eight).
Today, a kid dissected a grape juice advert that depicted a man standing with his shirt open revealing a t-shirt adorned with a cluster of grapes, placed prominently over his heart. Call me crazy, but I grew up Catholic so I automatically see a Christ reference.
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
Teacher (to Presenter) - So what's with the background? The sun the beautiful scenery, it's heavenly, almost biblical.
Presenter - It's a vineyard.
Teacher - Oh.
The CLASS LAUGHS.
Teacher - Wait. How can it be a vineyard? They're making grape juice not wine.
Presenter - Whatever. Same thing.
Another Student - Tell that to an alcoholic.
END SCENE
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
My kids continued their presentations today (See blog, day fifty-eight).
Today, a kid dissected a grape juice advert that depicted a man standing with his shirt open revealing a t-shirt adorned with a cluster of grapes, placed prominently over his heart. Call me crazy, but I grew up Catholic so I automatically see a Christ reference.
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
Teacher (to Presenter) - So what's with the background? The sun the beautiful scenery, it's heavenly, almost biblical.
Presenter - It's a vineyard.
Teacher - Oh.
The CLASS LAUGHS.
Teacher - Wait. How can it be a vineyard? They're making grape juice not wine.
Presenter - Whatever. Same thing.
Another Student - Tell that to an alcoholic.
END SCENE
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Day Fifty-Eight
For those of you just tuning in, "This Guy is Falling" follows the educational exploits of Mr. Birds-Eye, a high school teacher in his third year of teaching, traditionally the make or break year in the profession. Fearing that he has finally reached his wits end, Birds-Eye decides to write a blog in hopes that he can reboot his year by focusing on the positives of the profession.
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
The year is winding down.
To make things easier on myself, I have my kids working on group projects. While my sophomores stage A Midsummer's Night's Dream, my Juniors are creating their own television commercials using various advertising techniques (bandwagon, omission, family fun, facts and statistics, etc.).
To prep them, my juniors have been dissecting various print ads. Here's an excerpt from a Slim Fast Optima ad which depicts a Slim Fast can crushing two cream filled donuts, sending custard flying everywhere!
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
A STUDENT presents a SLIM FAST AD to the CLASS.
Student #1 - ...Slim Fast Optima controls your hunger craving for four hours.
Teacher - What's up with the donuts?
Student - The can is crushing them.
Teacher - Yeah, but don't those donuts make you hungry?
Student - Yeah.
Teacher - Why would they put donuts in a Slim Fast Ad?
Student #2 - So you'll get hungry and eat it and get fat.
Teacher - Right. Then you'll need to buy more Slim Fast.
Student #3 - I heard that stuff was bad for your kidneys. Too much of that stuff could kill you. I heard it on the news.
Student #1 - Why would they want to kill you?
Student #3 - You'll still lose weight.
Class (collectively) - Huh?
Student #3 - When you decompose!
END SCENE
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
The year is winding down.
To make things easier on myself, I have my kids working on group projects. While my sophomores stage A Midsummer's Night's Dream, my Juniors are creating their own television commercials using various advertising techniques (bandwagon, omission, family fun, facts and statistics, etc.).
To prep them, my juniors have been dissecting various print ads. Here's an excerpt from a Slim Fast Optima ad which depicts a Slim Fast can crushing two cream filled donuts, sending custard flying everywhere!
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
A STUDENT presents a SLIM FAST AD to the CLASS.
Student #1 - ...Slim Fast Optima controls your hunger craving for four hours.
Teacher - What's up with the donuts?
Student - The can is crushing them.
Teacher - Yeah, but don't those donuts make you hungry?
Student - Yeah.
Teacher - Why would they put donuts in a Slim Fast Ad?
Student #2 - So you'll get hungry and eat it and get fat.
Teacher - Right. Then you'll need to buy more Slim Fast.
Student #3 - I heard that stuff was bad for your kidneys. Too much of that stuff could kill you. I heard it on the news.
Student #1 - Why would they want to kill you?
Student #3 - You'll still lose weight.
Class (collectively) - Huh?
Student #3 - When you decompose!
END SCENE
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
Friday, May 6, 2011
Day Fifty-Seven
For those of you just tuning in, "This Guy is Falling" follows the educational exploits of Mr. Birds-Eye, a high school teacher in his third year of teaching, traditionally the make or break year in the profession. Fearing that he has finally reached his wits end, Birds-Eye decides to write a blog in hopes that he can reboot his year by focusing on the positives of the profession.
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
So in two weeks my Sophomores are presenting Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream. I think I'm more worried than they are.
Yesterday, we went over iambic pentameter, which is basically a Ba-Bump rhythm (like a heartbeat) that stretches out over ten syllables. Easy right?
No such thing.
They all sounded like robots.
Prompting this...
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
After another failed attempt, the TEACHER addresses his CLASS.
Teacher - Now I know some people are rhythmically challenged.
White Kid (hushed) - AKA "white people."
Teacher - That's not true. Some white people have rhythm. There's Justin Timberlake.
White Kid - And Michael Jackson!
END SCENE
Oh, the Michael Jackson jokes. They never get old.
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
So in two weeks my Sophomores are presenting Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream. I think I'm more worried than they are.
Yesterday, we went over iambic pentameter, which is basically a Ba-Bump rhythm (like a heartbeat) that stretches out over ten syllables. Easy right?
No such thing.
They all sounded like robots.
Prompting this...
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
After another failed attempt, the TEACHER addresses his CLASS.
Teacher - Now I know some people are rhythmically challenged.
White Kid (hushed) - AKA "white people."
Teacher - That's not true. Some white people have rhythm. There's Justin Timberlake.
White Kid - And Michael Jackson!
END SCENE
Oh, the Michael Jackson jokes. They never get old.
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Day Fifty-Six
For those of you just tuning in, "This Guy is Falling" follows the educational exploits of Mr. Birds-Eye, a high school teacher in his third year of teaching, traditionally the make or break year in the profession. Fearing that he has finally reached his wits end, Birds-Eye decides to write a blog in hopes that he can reboot his year by focusing on the positives of the profession.
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
It's that time of the year for book bills.
I sent eight kids to the library today to sort out their bills. Basically, they either lost books or forgot to return them.
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
A KID returns from the library.
Teacher - So?
Kid - I owe $80.00.
Teacher - You better pay up. They won't let you graduate.
Kid - Oh, I have the books. I just forgot to return them last year.
Teacher - How do you forget to return books from a year ago?
Kid - Video games.
END SCENE
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
It's that time of the year for book bills.
I sent eight kids to the library today to sort out their bills. Basically, they either lost books or forgot to return them.
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
A KID returns from the library.
Teacher - So?
Kid - I owe $80.00.
Teacher - You better pay up. They won't let you graduate.
Kid - Oh, I have the books. I just forgot to return them last year.
Teacher - How do you forget to return books from a year ago?
Kid - Video games.
END SCENE
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Day Fifty-Five
For those of you just tuning in, "This Guy is Falling" follows the educational exploits of Mr. Birds-Eye, a high school teacher in his third year of teaching, traditionally the make or break year in the profession. Fearing that he has finally reached his wits end, Birds-Eye decides to write a blog in hopes that he can reboot his year by focusing on the positives of the profession.
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
So sometimes you have to be a jerk. Crowd control is an essential part of the job and once and a while you have to be a cop.
Today, we finished Milk and watched a segment of The Times of Harvey Milk, an Oscar winning documentary from the 80's. I show the documentary because it shows what happened after Milk's hollywood ending.
After he kills Harvey, Dan White is put on trial for a double homicide, but gets off with manslaughter, serving five years.
Here's where I get to be a jerk.
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
Teacher - Does anyone know what manslaughter is?
Student - It's like you accidentally kill someone.
Teacher - And premeditated murder? Does anyone know what premeditated means?
The Teacher SPOTS a student named MAX talking to his FRIEND.
Teacher - Max? Premeditated?
Max - Huh?
Teacher - We're discussing the difference between manslaughter and premeditated murder.
Max - Oh.
Teacher - See to premeditate means you plan it ahead of time. Like if I was sitting at my desk before class thinking, "In like thirty minutes I'm going to pick on Max. Won't that be fun?"
The CLASS LAUGHS.
Teacher - But what I'm doing right now is more like manslaughter. I accidentally spotted you talking and I just went off. I'm just like Dan White.
Max - Who's Dan White?
END SCENE
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
So sometimes you have to be a jerk. Crowd control is an essential part of the job and once and a while you have to be a cop.
Today, we finished Milk and watched a segment of The Times of Harvey Milk, an Oscar winning documentary from the 80's. I show the documentary because it shows what happened after Milk's hollywood ending.
After he kills Harvey, Dan White is put on trial for a double homicide, but gets off with manslaughter, serving five years.
Here's where I get to be a jerk.
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
Teacher - Does anyone know what manslaughter is?
Student - It's like you accidentally kill someone.
Teacher - And premeditated murder? Does anyone know what premeditated means?
The Teacher SPOTS a student named MAX talking to his FRIEND.
Teacher - Max? Premeditated?
Max - Huh?
Teacher - We're discussing the difference between manslaughter and premeditated murder.
Max - Oh.
Teacher - See to premeditate means you plan it ahead of time. Like if I was sitting at my desk before class thinking, "In like thirty minutes I'm going to pick on Max. Won't that be fun?"
The CLASS LAUGHS.
Teacher - But what I'm doing right now is more like manslaughter. I accidentally spotted you talking and I just went off. I'm just like Dan White.
Max - Who's Dan White?
END SCENE
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
Monday, May 2, 2011
Day Fifty-Four?
For those of you just tuning in, "This Guy is Falling" follows the educational exploits of Mr. Birds-Eye, a high school teacher in his third year of teaching, traditionally the make or break year in the profession. Fearing that he has finally reached his wits end, Birds-Eye decides to write a blog in hopes that he can reboot his year by focusing on the positives of the profession.
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
Had an interesting day.
My juniors continued to watch Milk, ending on the scene where Harvey Milk gains the straight publics' support by passing a San Francisco city ordinance fining dog owners who fail to pick up their puppy's poop.
After that, we discussed the death of Osama bin Laden. It was interesting to hear the kids' reactions. Most of my students were very young when Sept. 11th happened (6-8 years old) so for all intent and purposes the guy was the bogey man for almost their entire lives.
Their reactions ranged from the ridiculous: "Does this mean they're going to find Tupac next?"
To the pessimistic: "It's all a conspiracy by our government to control us."
I, myself, was shocked. I thought he died years ago. I mean the guy had kidney problems and needed dialysis, right? At least that's what jaded people like myself thought. And now years later, he's really dead.
As I reflect on this event, it makes me realize that I really don't know shit. If anything, Osama bin Ladan's death is a wake up call, challenging my cynical side to reevaluate itself.
As my class continued the discussion, I found myself in a discussion with a kid who reminded me a lot of myself at his age. By the age of sixteen, I had seen Oliver Stone's JFK several times, and I was convinced you could trust no one.
This kid today echoed that sentiment prompting me to say, "You know that's all bullshit. Sure bad things happen, but you just got to live your own life. Now you have two choices, you can spot the bullshit, and step over it or you can step right into and track that stuff all over your life and soil the time you have."
Thank Harvey Milk for helping me realize that.
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
Had an interesting day.
My juniors continued to watch Milk, ending on the scene where Harvey Milk gains the straight publics' support by passing a San Francisco city ordinance fining dog owners who fail to pick up their puppy's poop.
After that, we discussed the death of Osama bin Laden. It was interesting to hear the kids' reactions. Most of my students were very young when Sept. 11th happened (6-8 years old) so for all intent and purposes the guy was the bogey man for almost their entire lives.
Their reactions ranged from the ridiculous: "Does this mean they're going to find Tupac next?"
To the pessimistic: "It's all a conspiracy by our government to control us."
I, myself, was shocked. I thought he died years ago. I mean the guy had kidney problems and needed dialysis, right? At least that's what jaded people like myself thought. And now years later, he's really dead.
As I reflect on this event, it makes me realize that I really don't know shit. If anything, Osama bin Ladan's death is a wake up call, challenging my cynical side to reevaluate itself.
As my class continued the discussion, I found myself in a discussion with a kid who reminded me a lot of myself at his age. By the age of sixteen, I had seen Oliver Stone's JFK several times, and I was convinced you could trust no one.
This kid today echoed that sentiment prompting me to say, "You know that's all bullshit. Sure bad things happen, but you just got to live your own life. Now you have two choices, you can spot the bullshit, and step over it or you can step right into and track that stuff all over your life and soil the time you have."
Thank Harvey Milk for helping me realize that.
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
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