For those of you just tuning in, "This Guy is Falling" follows the educational exploits of Mr. Birds-Eye, a high school teacher in his third year of teaching, traditionally the make or break year in the profession. Fearing that he has finally reached his wits end, Birds-Eye decides to write a blog in hopes that he can reboot his year by focusing on the positives of the profession.
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
Headed out to Missouri tomorrow so this'll be my last post for a couple of weeks.
Taking off from work is always hard for me. Not because I don't want to, it's just...
Getting lesson plans together for a sub is often more annoying than just showing up to work. This time I said, "Screw it! I'm showing a movie...a long one."
Malcolm X, anyone?
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
Teacher - So I'm going to be gone for three days.
Student #1 - Are we going to watch a movie?
Teacher - Yeah, Malcolm X. Anyone seen it?
Student #2 - Oh, man! We watched that already in history class!
Teacher - Then I'll guess you'll be a Malcolm X expert.
Student #1 (giggling) - Mr. Birds-Eye, you said Malcolm X - pert!
END SCENCE
A real knee slapper.
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off for a week or two?
Birds-Eye
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Monday, March 28, 2011
Day Forty-Three
For those of you just tuning in, "This Guy is Falling" follows the educational exploits of Mr. Birds-Eye, a high school teacher in his third year of teaching, traditionally the make or break year in the profession. Fearing that he has finally reached his wits end, Birds-Eye decides to write a blog in hopes that he can reboot his year by focusing on the positives of the profession.
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
My juniors have been watching Spike Lee's Do the Right Thing for the last week. For those of you who haven't seen the film, the movie focuses on how disrespect can lead to violence.
As they watch the film, my students take note of the characters' "wants" and how they're often not being met.
Today, we watched the scene where Mookie, an absentee father, finally shows up at his girlfriend's place for a booty call. Rather than bowing down to Mookie's needs, Tina shuts him down, forcing him to devise a plan B. He actually talks to his son...for thirty second.
INT. CLASSROOM - CLASS
Teacher - What are Mookie's wants?
Student (mumbling) - He wants to see his son.
Teacher - He wants to see his son? Are you sure about that?
Student - I said he wants to get some!
END SCENE
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
My juniors have been watching Spike Lee's Do the Right Thing for the last week. For those of you who haven't seen the film, the movie focuses on how disrespect can lead to violence.
As they watch the film, my students take note of the characters' "wants" and how they're often not being met.
Today, we watched the scene where Mookie, an absentee father, finally shows up at his girlfriend's place for a booty call. Rather than bowing down to Mookie's needs, Tina shuts him down, forcing him to devise a plan B. He actually talks to his son...for thirty second.
INT. CLASSROOM - CLASS
Teacher - What are Mookie's wants?
Student (mumbling) - He wants to see his son.
Teacher - He wants to see his son? Are you sure about that?
Student - I said he wants to get some!
END SCENE
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
Friday, March 25, 2011
Day Forty-Two
For those of you just tuning in, "This Guy is Falling" follows the educational exploits of Mr. Birds-Eye, a high school teacher in his third year of teaching, traditionally the make or break year in the profession. Fearing that he has finally reached his wits end, Birds-Eye decides to write a blog in hopes that he can reboot his year by focusing on the positives of the profession.
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
Kids hate doing worksheets. I know. I was a kid too. But it never ceases to amaze me the kind of excuses they'll come up with to avoid doing them.
Here's a timeless classic for your viewing pleasure:
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
A Teacher hands out, yet another WORKSHEET, which is met with a collective GROAN from the Class.
Student - Mr. Birds-Eye, you love wasting paper.
Mr. Birds-Eye - I know. It's great.
Student - You're killing so many trees.
Mr. Birds-Eye - I know. I hate trees. I only care about people.
Student - Yeah, but if you kill all the trees they can't make oxygen and then all the people die.
END SCENE
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
Kids hate doing worksheets. I know. I was a kid too. But it never ceases to amaze me the kind of excuses they'll come up with to avoid doing them.
Here's a timeless classic for your viewing pleasure:
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
A Teacher hands out, yet another WORKSHEET, which is met with a collective GROAN from the Class.
Student - Mr. Birds-Eye, you love wasting paper.
Mr. Birds-Eye - I know. It's great.
Student - You're killing so many trees.
Mr. Birds-Eye - I know. I hate trees. I only care about people.
Student - Yeah, but if you kill all the trees they can't make oxygen and then all the people die.
END SCENE
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Day Forty-One
For those of you just tuning in, "This Guy is Falling" follows the educational exploits of Mr. Birds-Eye, a high school teacher in his third year of teaching, traditionally the make or break year in the profession. Fearing that he has finally reached his wits end, Birds-Eye decides to write a blog in hopes that he can reboot his year by focusing on the positives of the profession.
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
Teaching is all about repetition. I teach two sections (three junior classes/two sophomores) so over the course of a day I repeat myself a lot. Students hate repetition. They get bored easily so they try their best to take me off the beaten track, aka a tangent. Occasionally, I humor them.
Hey, I get bored too!
Here's such an exchange:
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
Girl - Mr. Birds-Eye, is a fish a fish?
Me - What?
Girl - Is a fish a fish? Like a whale is mammal, but it swims. I'm confused.
Me - Yeah, a fish is a species. You also got reptiles, mammals, amphibians, birds, and fish.
Girl - Then why don't you say I'm eating a mammal when you're eating a steak?
Me - Because it'd be too confusing. You could be eating a cow, or a sheep, or a...
Other Student - ...Human.
Girl - Ooohhh!
Other Student - Hey, we're mammals too!
END SCENE
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
Teaching is all about repetition. I teach two sections (three junior classes/two sophomores) so over the course of a day I repeat myself a lot. Students hate repetition. They get bored easily so they try their best to take me off the beaten track, aka a tangent. Occasionally, I humor them.
Hey, I get bored too!
Here's such an exchange:
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
Girl - Mr. Birds-Eye, is a fish a fish?
Me - What?
Girl - Is a fish a fish? Like a whale is mammal, but it swims. I'm confused.
Me - Yeah, a fish is a species. You also got reptiles, mammals, amphibians, birds, and fish.
Girl - Then why don't you say I'm eating a mammal when you're eating a steak?
Me - Because it'd be too confusing. You could be eating a cow, or a sheep, or a...
Other Student - ...Human.
Girl - Ooohhh!
Other Student - Hey, we're mammals too!
END SCENE
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Day Forty
For those of you just tuning in, "This Guy is Falling" follows the educational exploits of Mr. Birds-Eye, a high school teacher in his third year of teaching, traditionally the make or break year in the profession. Fearing that he has finally reached his wits end, Birds-Eye decides to write a blog in hopes that he can reboot his year by focusing on the positives of the profession.
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
Here's a quick one.
So my school has a silent sustained reading program where students are supposed to read twenty minutes a day. It's a great idea, but like most great ideas...
In short, a lot of kids just grab a book and pretend to read. Today I caught a girl turned to the middle of the book.
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
Teacher (to Girl) - You know, if you're going to pretend to read you might as well do it right. Turn to page one.
As the Girl turns to page one, five other Students follow her lead.
END SCENE
Unbelievable!
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
Here's a quick one.
So my school has a silent sustained reading program where students are supposed to read twenty minutes a day. It's a great idea, but like most great ideas...
In short, a lot of kids just grab a book and pretend to read. Today I caught a girl turned to the middle of the book.
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
Teacher (to Girl) - You know, if you're going to pretend to read you might as well do it right. Turn to page one.
As the Girl turns to page one, five other Students follow her lead.
END SCENE
Unbelievable!
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
Monday, March 21, 2011
Day Thirty-Nine
Kids are funny.
My sophomores are writing research papers, and these are the type of questions they're asking me.
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
Girl - Mr. Birds-Eye, did Obama fulfill his dream?
Me - What?
Girl - Did Obama have a dream to be president?
Me - I don't know. Why don't you research that?
Girl (disgusted) Uggghhhh.
END SCENE
Later on, I showed them what they're getting in the class, and this is what the same girl said.
INT. CLASSROOM - LATER
Me - You're getting a B+.
Girl - 89.9% isn't that an A-?
Me - I don't know. Ask Obama.
END SCENE
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
My sophomores are writing research papers, and these are the type of questions they're asking me.
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
Girl - Mr. Birds-Eye, did Obama fulfill his dream?
Me - What?
Girl - Did Obama have a dream to be president?
Me - I don't know. Why don't you research that?
Girl (disgusted) Uggghhhh.
END SCENE
Later on, I showed them what they're getting in the class, and this is what the same girl said.
INT. CLASSROOM - LATER
Me - You're getting a B+.
Girl - 89.9% isn't that an A-?
Me - I don't know. Ask Obama.
END SCENE
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
Friday, March 18, 2011
Day Thirty-Eight
For those of you just tuning in, "This Guy is Falling" follows the educational exploits of Mr. Birds-Eye, a high school teacher in his third year of teaching, traditionally the make or break year in the profession. Fearing that he has finally reached his wits end, Birds-Eye decides to write a blog in hopes that he can reboot his year by focusing on the positives of the profession.
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
One scary thing about being a teacher is kids pretty much believe everything you say. You're the teacher, right? You're supposed to know everything.
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
Student - Mr. Birds-Eye, there's going to be an earthquake tomorrow.
Teacher - What? Don't believe that bull...oney. You talking about the super moon?
Student - Super moon?
Teacher - You didn't hear about that? Tomorrow night the moon's going to appear in the sky with a giant S across it.
Ten Students stare at me, WIDE EYED!
Students (collectively) Really?
END SCENE
I can't make up this stuff, folks.
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
One scary thing about being a teacher is kids pretty much believe everything you say. You're the teacher, right? You're supposed to know everything.
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
Student - Mr. Birds-Eye, there's going to be an earthquake tomorrow.
Teacher - What? Don't believe that bull...oney. You talking about the super moon?
Student - Super moon?
Teacher - You didn't hear about that? Tomorrow night the moon's going to appear in the sky with a giant S across it.
Ten Students stare at me, WIDE EYED!
Students (collectively) Really?
END SCENE
I can't make up this stuff, folks.
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
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