For those of you just tuning in, "This Guy is Falling" follows the educational exploits of Mr. Birds-Eye, a high school teacher in his third year of teaching, traditionally the make or break year in the profession. Fearing that he has finally reached his wits end, Birds-Eye decides to write a blog in hopes that he can reboot his year by focusing on the positives of the profession.
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
I haven't been doing my homework lately. I got six more days of school, and the last thing that I want to do when I get home is talk about school, but...
Here's a quickie.
So I'm giving my last vocab test of the year tomorrow. As a review, I have my students fill out four boxes. The first box asks for the definition, the second a synonym, the third an image that the vocab word conjures in their mind, and the fourth a sentence containing the word.
One of the vocab words was exterior, which believe it or not is a SAT word. This is one kid's definition:
"An exterior is the cover for the interior."
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Day Fifty-Nine
For those of you just tuning in, "This Guy is Falling" follows the educational exploits of Mr. Birds-Eye, a high school teacher in his third year of teaching, traditionally the make or break year in the profession. Fearing that he has finally reached his wits end, Birds-Eye decides to write a blog in hopes that he can reboot his year by focusing on the positives of the profession.
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
My kids continued their presentations today (See blog, day fifty-eight).
Today, a kid dissected a grape juice advert that depicted a man standing with his shirt open revealing a t-shirt adorned with a cluster of grapes, placed prominently over his heart. Call me crazy, but I grew up Catholic so I automatically see a Christ reference.
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
Teacher (to Presenter) - So what's with the background? The sun the beautiful scenery, it's heavenly, almost biblical.
Presenter - It's a vineyard.
Teacher - Oh.
The CLASS LAUGHS.
Teacher - Wait. How can it be a vineyard? They're making grape juice not wine.
Presenter - Whatever. Same thing.
Another Student - Tell that to an alcoholic.
END SCENE
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
My kids continued their presentations today (See blog, day fifty-eight).
Today, a kid dissected a grape juice advert that depicted a man standing with his shirt open revealing a t-shirt adorned with a cluster of grapes, placed prominently over his heart. Call me crazy, but I grew up Catholic so I automatically see a Christ reference.
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
Teacher (to Presenter) - So what's with the background? The sun the beautiful scenery, it's heavenly, almost biblical.
Presenter - It's a vineyard.
Teacher - Oh.
The CLASS LAUGHS.
Teacher - Wait. How can it be a vineyard? They're making grape juice not wine.
Presenter - Whatever. Same thing.
Another Student - Tell that to an alcoholic.
END SCENE
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Day Fifty-Eight
For those of you just tuning in, "This Guy is Falling" follows the educational exploits of Mr. Birds-Eye, a high school teacher in his third year of teaching, traditionally the make or break year in the profession. Fearing that he has finally reached his wits end, Birds-Eye decides to write a blog in hopes that he can reboot his year by focusing on the positives of the profession.
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
The year is winding down.
To make things easier on myself, I have my kids working on group projects. While my sophomores stage A Midsummer's Night's Dream, my Juniors are creating their own television commercials using various advertising techniques (bandwagon, omission, family fun, facts and statistics, etc.).
To prep them, my juniors have been dissecting various print ads. Here's an excerpt from a Slim Fast Optima ad which depicts a Slim Fast can crushing two cream filled donuts, sending custard flying everywhere!
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
A STUDENT presents a SLIM FAST AD to the CLASS.
Student #1 - ...Slim Fast Optima controls your hunger craving for four hours.
Teacher - What's up with the donuts?
Student - The can is crushing them.
Teacher - Yeah, but don't those donuts make you hungry?
Student - Yeah.
Teacher - Why would they put donuts in a Slim Fast Ad?
Student #2 - So you'll get hungry and eat it and get fat.
Teacher - Right. Then you'll need to buy more Slim Fast.
Student #3 - I heard that stuff was bad for your kidneys. Too much of that stuff could kill you. I heard it on the news.
Student #1 - Why would they want to kill you?
Student #3 - You'll still lose weight.
Class (collectively) - Huh?
Student #3 - When you decompose!
END SCENE
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
The year is winding down.
To make things easier on myself, I have my kids working on group projects. While my sophomores stage A Midsummer's Night's Dream, my Juniors are creating their own television commercials using various advertising techniques (bandwagon, omission, family fun, facts and statistics, etc.).
To prep them, my juniors have been dissecting various print ads. Here's an excerpt from a Slim Fast Optima ad which depicts a Slim Fast can crushing two cream filled donuts, sending custard flying everywhere!
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
A STUDENT presents a SLIM FAST AD to the CLASS.
Student #1 - ...Slim Fast Optima controls your hunger craving for four hours.
Teacher - What's up with the donuts?
Student - The can is crushing them.
Teacher - Yeah, but don't those donuts make you hungry?
Student - Yeah.
Teacher - Why would they put donuts in a Slim Fast Ad?
Student #2 - So you'll get hungry and eat it and get fat.
Teacher - Right. Then you'll need to buy more Slim Fast.
Student #3 - I heard that stuff was bad for your kidneys. Too much of that stuff could kill you. I heard it on the news.
Student #1 - Why would they want to kill you?
Student #3 - You'll still lose weight.
Class (collectively) - Huh?
Student #3 - When you decompose!
END SCENE
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
Friday, May 6, 2011
Day Fifty-Seven
For those of you just tuning in, "This Guy is Falling" follows the educational exploits of Mr. Birds-Eye, a high school teacher in his third year of teaching, traditionally the make or break year in the profession. Fearing that he has finally reached his wits end, Birds-Eye decides to write a blog in hopes that he can reboot his year by focusing on the positives of the profession.
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
So in two weeks my Sophomores are presenting Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream. I think I'm more worried than they are.
Yesterday, we went over iambic pentameter, which is basically a Ba-Bump rhythm (like a heartbeat) that stretches out over ten syllables. Easy right?
No such thing.
They all sounded like robots.
Prompting this...
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
After another failed attempt, the TEACHER addresses his CLASS.
Teacher - Now I know some people are rhythmically challenged.
White Kid (hushed) - AKA "white people."
Teacher - That's not true. Some white people have rhythm. There's Justin Timberlake.
White Kid - And Michael Jackson!
END SCENE
Oh, the Michael Jackson jokes. They never get old.
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
So in two weeks my Sophomores are presenting Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream. I think I'm more worried than they are.
Yesterday, we went over iambic pentameter, which is basically a Ba-Bump rhythm (like a heartbeat) that stretches out over ten syllables. Easy right?
No such thing.
They all sounded like robots.
Prompting this...
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
After another failed attempt, the TEACHER addresses his CLASS.
Teacher - Now I know some people are rhythmically challenged.
White Kid (hushed) - AKA "white people."
Teacher - That's not true. Some white people have rhythm. There's Justin Timberlake.
White Kid - And Michael Jackson!
END SCENE
Oh, the Michael Jackson jokes. They never get old.
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Day Fifty-Six
For those of you just tuning in, "This Guy is Falling" follows the educational exploits of Mr. Birds-Eye, a high school teacher in his third year of teaching, traditionally the make or break year in the profession. Fearing that he has finally reached his wits end, Birds-Eye decides to write a blog in hopes that he can reboot his year by focusing on the positives of the profession.
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
It's that time of the year for book bills.
I sent eight kids to the library today to sort out their bills. Basically, they either lost books or forgot to return them.
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
A KID returns from the library.
Teacher - So?
Kid - I owe $80.00.
Teacher - You better pay up. They won't let you graduate.
Kid - Oh, I have the books. I just forgot to return them last year.
Teacher - How do you forget to return books from a year ago?
Kid - Video games.
END SCENE
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
It's that time of the year for book bills.
I sent eight kids to the library today to sort out their bills. Basically, they either lost books or forgot to return them.
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
A KID returns from the library.
Teacher - So?
Kid - I owe $80.00.
Teacher - You better pay up. They won't let you graduate.
Kid - Oh, I have the books. I just forgot to return them last year.
Teacher - How do you forget to return books from a year ago?
Kid - Video games.
END SCENE
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Day Fifty-Five
For those of you just tuning in, "This Guy is Falling" follows the educational exploits of Mr. Birds-Eye, a high school teacher in his third year of teaching, traditionally the make or break year in the profession. Fearing that he has finally reached his wits end, Birds-Eye decides to write a blog in hopes that he can reboot his year by focusing on the positives of the profession.
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
So sometimes you have to be a jerk. Crowd control is an essential part of the job and once and a while you have to be a cop.
Today, we finished Milk and watched a segment of The Times of Harvey Milk, an Oscar winning documentary from the 80's. I show the documentary because it shows what happened after Milk's hollywood ending.
After he kills Harvey, Dan White is put on trial for a double homicide, but gets off with manslaughter, serving five years.
Here's where I get to be a jerk.
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
Teacher - Does anyone know what manslaughter is?
Student - It's like you accidentally kill someone.
Teacher - And premeditated murder? Does anyone know what premeditated means?
The Teacher SPOTS a student named MAX talking to his FRIEND.
Teacher - Max? Premeditated?
Max - Huh?
Teacher - We're discussing the difference between manslaughter and premeditated murder.
Max - Oh.
Teacher - See to premeditate means you plan it ahead of time. Like if I was sitting at my desk before class thinking, "In like thirty minutes I'm going to pick on Max. Won't that be fun?"
The CLASS LAUGHS.
Teacher - But what I'm doing right now is more like manslaughter. I accidentally spotted you talking and I just went off. I'm just like Dan White.
Max - Who's Dan White?
END SCENE
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
So sometimes you have to be a jerk. Crowd control is an essential part of the job and once and a while you have to be a cop.
Today, we finished Milk and watched a segment of The Times of Harvey Milk, an Oscar winning documentary from the 80's. I show the documentary because it shows what happened after Milk's hollywood ending.
After he kills Harvey, Dan White is put on trial for a double homicide, but gets off with manslaughter, serving five years.
Here's where I get to be a jerk.
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
Teacher - Does anyone know what manslaughter is?
Student - It's like you accidentally kill someone.
Teacher - And premeditated murder? Does anyone know what premeditated means?
The Teacher SPOTS a student named MAX talking to his FRIEND.
Teacher - Max? Premeditated?
Max - Huh?
Teacher - We're discussing the difference between manslaughter and premeditated murder.
Max - Oh.
Teacher - See to premeditate means you plan it ahead of time. Like if I was sitting at my desk before class thinking, "In like thirty minutes I'm going to pick on Max. Won't that be fun?"
The CLASS LAUGHS.
Teacher - But what I'm doing right now is more like manslaughter. I accidentally spotted you talking and I just went off. I'm just like Dan White.
Max - Who's Dan White?
END SCENE
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
Monday, May 2, 2011
Day Fifty-Four?
For those of you just tuning in, "This Guy is Falling" follows the educational exploits of Mr. Birds-Eye, a high school teacher in his third year of teaching, traditionally the make or break year in the profession. Fearing that he has finally reached his wits end, Birds-Eye decides to write a blog in hopes that he can reboot his year by focusing on the positives of the profession.
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
Had an interesting day.
My juniors continued to watch Milk, ending on the scene where Harvey Milk gains the straight publics' support by passing a San Francisco city ordinance fining dog owners who fail to pick up their puppy's poop.
After that, we discussed the death of Osama bin Laden. It was interesting to hear the kids' reactions. Most of my students were very young when Sept. 11th happened (6-8 years old) so for all intent and purposes the guy was the bogey man for almost their entire lives.
Their reactions ranged from the ridiculous: "Does this mean they're going to find Tupac next?"
To the pessimistic: "It's all a conspiracy by our government to control us."
I, myself, was shocked. I thought he died years ago. I mean the guy had kidney problems and needed dialysis, right? At least that's what jaded people like myself thought. And now years later, he's really dead.
As I reflect on this event, it makes me realize that I really don't know shit. If anything, Osama bin Ladan's death is a wake up call, challenging my cynical side to reevaluate itself.
As my class continued the discussion, I found myself in a discussion with a kid who reminded me a lot of myself at his age. By the age of sixteen, I had seen Oliver Stone's JFK several times, and I was convinced you could trust no one.
This kid today echoed that sentiment prompting me to say, "You know that's all bullshit. Sure bad things happen, but you just got to live your own life. Now you have two choices, you can spot the bullshit, and step over it or you can step right into and track that stuff all over your life and soil the time you have."
Thank Harvey Milk for helping me realize that.
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
Had an interesting day.
My juniors continued to watch Milk, ending on the scene where Harvey Milk gains the straight publics' support by passing a San Francisco city ordinance fining dog owners who fail to pick up their puppy's poop.
After that, we discussed the death of Osama bin Laden. It was interesting to hear the kids' reactions. Most of my students were very young when Sept. 11th happened (6-8 years old) so for all intent and purposes the guy was the bogey man for almost their entire lives.
Their reactions ranged from the ridiculous: "Does this mean they're going to find Tupac next?"
To the pessimistic: "It's all a conspiracy by our government to control us."
I, myself, was shocked. I thought he died years ago. I mean the guy had kidney problems and needed dialysis, right? At least that's what jaded people like myself thought. And now years later, he's really dead.
As I reflect on this event, it makes me realize that I really don't know shit. If anything, Osama bin Ladan's death is a wake up call, challenging my cynical side to reevaluate itself.
As my class continued the discussion, I found myself in a discussion with a kid who reminded me a lot of myself at his age. By the age of sixteen, I had seen Oliver Stone's JFK several times, and I was convinced you could trust no one.
This kid today echoed that sentiment prompting me to say, "You know that's all bullshit. Sure bad things happen, but you just got to live your own life. Now you have two choices, you can spot the bullshit, and step over it or you can step right into and track that stuff all over your life and soil the time you have."
Thank Harvey Milk for helping me realize that.
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Day Fifty-Three
For those of you just tuning in, "This Guy is Falling" follows the educational exploits of Mr. Birds-Eye, a high school teacher in his third year of teaching, traditionally the make or break year in the profession. Fearing that he has finally reached his wits end, Birds-Eye decides to write a blog in hopes that he can reboot his year by focusing on the positives of the profession.
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
Oh...the high school announcement. So important, yet so under appreciated.
Here's a little jewel from today.
"Do you like to play bingo and converse with senior citizens? Well join the sunshine club..."
I laughed.
Sadly, my students didn't. They were too discussing much more important things like prom, which I'll be chaperoning this weekend. Let's hope I get a post or two out of that one.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
Oh...the high school announcement. So important, yet so under appreciated.
Here's a little jewel from today.
"Do you like to play bingo and converse with senior citizens? Well join the sunshine club..."
I laughed.
Sadly, my students didn't. They were too discussing much more important things like prom, which I'll be chaperoning this weekend. Let's hope I get a post or two out of that one.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
Monday, April 25, 2011
Day Fifty-Two
For those of you just tuning in, "This Guy is Falling" follows the educational exploits of Mr. Birds-Eye, a high school teacher in his third year of teaching, traditionally the make or break year in the profession. Fearing that he has finally reached his wits end, Birds-Eye decides to write a blog in hopes that he can reboot his year by focusing on the positives of the profession.
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
Here's a quickie.
So I let this one kid plug in his cellphone so it can charge during class.
No big deal, right?
While he's plugging the phone in, he knocks over an umbrella that's leaning against the wall next to the electrical outlet. Instead of picking up the umbrella and putting it back where he found it, he walks back to his desk and sits down like nothing happened.
ME - What fell over?
STUDENT - An umbrella.
ME - Why didn't you pick it up?
STUDENT - It's too hard to make it stand up.
Wow!
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
Here's a quickie.
So I let this one kid plug in his cellphone so it can charge during class.
No big deal, right?
While he's plugging the phone in, he knocks over an umbrella that's leaning against the wall next to the electrical outlet. Instead of picking up the umbrella and putting it back where he found it, he walks back to his desk and sits down like nothing happened.
ME - What fell over?
STUDENT - An umbrella.
ME - Why didn't you pick it up?
STUDENT - It's too hard to make it stand up.
Wow!
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
Friday, April 22, 2011
Day Fifty-One
For those of you just tuning in, "This Guy is Falling" follows the educational exploits of Mr. Birds-Eye, a high school teacher in his third year of teaching, traditionally the make or break year in the profession. Fearing that he has finally reached his wits end, Birds-Eye decides to write a blog in hopes that he can reboot his year by focusing on the positives of the profession.
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
In honor of Earth Day, I have a blast from the past.
A couple of years ago, my students were going gaga for the movie Avatar. For those of you who haven't seen the film, it addresses our planet's dependance on natural resources, and what man is willing to do to keep the ball rolling, even if it's headed down a hill.
At least, that's the message at the film's core. Get it? Core? Earth Day? No?
Anyhoo...
The film was an ecological action film, and it got kids thinking about the environment.
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
Student - Mr. Birds-Eye, did you see Avatar?
Teacher - Yeah.
Student - I loved it so much I didn't litter for like three days!
END SCENE
And that in a nutshell is why I still love teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
In honor of Earth Day, I have a blast from the past.
A couple of years ago, my students were going gaga for the movie Avatar. For those of you who haven't seen the film, it addresses our planet's dependance on natural resources, and what man is willing to do to keep the ball rolling, even if it's headed down a hill.
At least, that's the message at the film's core. Get it? Core? Earth Day? No?
Anyhoo...
The film was an ecological action film, and it got kids thinking about the environment.
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
Student - Mr. Birds-Eye, did you see Avatar?
Teacher - Yeah.
Student - I loved it so much I didn't litter for like three days!
END SCENE
And that in a nutshell is why I still love teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Day Fifty
For those of you just tuning in, "This Guy is Falling" follows the educational exploits of Mr. Birds-Eye, a high school teacher in his third year of teaching, traditionally the make or break year in the profession. Fearing that he has finally reached his wits end, Birds-Eye decides to write a blog in hopes that he can reboot his year by focusing on the positives of the profession.
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
Tomorrow my students have a vocabulary test. One of the words is...
Cascade - 1. a small, steep waterfall. 2. Anything suggesting this, as a shower of sparks.
Moving on...
So we continued discussing homosexuality today, tying it into the prejudice that occurs in Black Boy.
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
Teacher - Why are teenaged boys so afraid of homosexuality?
Student #1 - They don't want to be seen as an outsider?
Teacher - Good. What are some ways that teenaged boys are paranoid about being viewed as a homosexual?
Student #2 - Oh! They won't sit next to each other in the movies. They have a space between them!
Student #3 - Yeah, and they won't pee next to each other in the bathroom!
Teacher - Why?
A Boy RAISES his hand.
Teacher - Yes?
Boy - They don't want to get wet?
The CLASS LAUGHS!
Student #1 - Oooh! They don't want to get wet with the cascade!
END SCENE
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
Tomorrow my students have a vocabulary test. One of the words is...
Cascade - 1. a small, steep waterfall. 2. Anything suggesting this, as a shower of sparks.
Moving on...
So we continued discussing homosexuality today, tying it into the prejudice that occurs in Black Boy.
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
Teacher - Why are teenaged boys so afraid of homosexuality?
Student #1 - They don't want to be seen as an outsider?
Teacher - Good. What are some ways that teenaged boys are paranoid about being viewed as a homosexual?
Student #2 - Oh! They won't sit next to each other in the movies. They have a space between them!
Student #3 - Yeah, and they won't pee next to each other in the bathroom!
Teacher - Why?
A Boy RAISES his hand.
Teacher - Yes?
Boy - They don't want to get wet?
The CLASS LAUGHS!
Student #1 - Oooh! They don't want to get wet with the cascade!
END SCENE
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Day Forty-Nine
For those of you just tuning in, "This Guy is Falling" follows the educational exploits of Mr. Birds-Eye, a high school teacher in his third year of teaching, traditionally the make or break year in the profession. Fearing that he has finally reached his wits end, Birds-Eye decides to write a blog in hopes that he can reboot his year by focusing on the positives of the profession.
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
Spring boarding from yesterdays discussion. My students read a short story written by a gay man about growing up in a household that was none too pleased with his sexual orientation. The story ends with the teenager challenging the "real" men in his family to assert their manliness!
Needless to say, today's discussion was colorful, and we got into what it's like to be a "real man", damn it!
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
Teacher - What do manly men do?
Student #1 - They play sports.
Teacher - Good. Let's talk about the sports that they play. Now most men are afraid of touching other men because it's a sign that they're gay, but these same men have no problem grabbing other men, throwing them down, and jumping on top of them.
The CLASS LAUGHS.
Teacher - That's football. What happens in wrestling? Men dress up in skin tight clothes and, again. grab each other, pinning them down in all types of suspect positions.
Student - In baseball they slap each other's asses when they make a good play!
The CLASS LAUGHS, and I can see that several MANLY MEN in the class are starting to SHIFT UNCOMFORTABLY.
Teacher - Oh now I can see that some people are starting to feel uncomfortable. They're trying to figure out an un-gay sport that they can play. How about soccer? No hands, guys!
Student #2 - Yeah, but they can play footsie!
END SCENE
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
Spring boarding from yesterdays discussion. My students read a short story written by a gay man about growing up in a household that was none too pleased with his sexual orientation. The story ends with the teenager challenging the "real" men in his family to assert their manliness!
Needless to say, today's discussion was colorful, and we got into what it's like to be a "real man", damn it!
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
Teacher - What do manly men do?
Student #1 - They play sports.
Teacher - Good. Let's talk about the sports that they play. Now most men are afraid of touching other men because it's a sign that they're gay, but these same men have no problem grabbing other men, throwing them down, and jumping on top of them.
The CLASS LAUGHS.
Teacher - That's football. What happens in wrestling? Men dress up in skin tight clothes and, again. grab each other, pinning them down in all types of suspect positions.
Student - In baseball they slap each other's asses when they make a good play!
The CLASS LAUGHS, and I can see that several MANLY MEN in the class are starting to SHIFT UNCOMFORTABLY.
Teacher - Oh now I can see that some people are starting to feel uncomfortable. They're trying to figure out an un-gay sport that they can play. How about soccer? No hands, guys!
Student #2 - Yeah, but they can play footsie!
END SCENE
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Day Forty-Eight?
For those of you just tuning in, "This Guy is Falling" follows the educational exploits of Mr. Birds-Eye, a high school teacher in his third year of teaching, traditionally the make or break year in the profession. Fearing that he has finally reached his wits end, Birds-Eye decides to write a blog in hopes that he can reboot his year by focusing on the positives of the profession.
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
It's been hard getting back into the swing of things.
Here's a quickie...
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
Teacher - What do you know about Abraham Lincoln? The guy with the beard.
Student # 1 - He got shot.
Student # 2 - He wore a hat and boots.
Teacher - Actually, the guy who shot him was John Wilkes Booth.
Student #3 - I heard he was gay.
Teacher - Who?
Student #3 - Abraham Lincoln. He was gay.
Teacher - That's cool.
Student #1 - Abraham Lincoln was gay?
Student # 2 - Yeah, he lived with this guy for a little bit.
Gay Student - Way to go Abe!
END SCENE
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
It's been hard getting back into the swing of things.
Here's a quickie...
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
Teacher - What do you know about Abraham Lincoln? The guy with the beard.
Student # 1 - He got shot.
Student # 2 - He wore a hat and boots.
Teacher - Actually, the guy who shot him was John Wilkes Booth.
Student #3 - I heard he was gay.
Teacher - Who?
Student #3 - Abraham Lincoln. He was gay.
Teacher - That's cool.
Student #1 - Abraham Lincoln was gay?
Student # 2 - Yeah, he lived with this guy for a little bit.
Gay Student - Way to go Abe!
END SCENE
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Day forty-seven
For those of you just tuning in, "This Guy is Falling" follows the educational exploits of Mr. Birds-Eye, a high school teacher in his third year of teaching, traditionally the make or break year in the profession. Fearing that he has finally reached his wits end, Birds-Eye decides to write a blog in hopes that he can reboot his year by focusing on the positives of the profession.
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
Kids are funny, man.
So my juniors are still reading Richard Wright's autobiography, Black Boy. If you haven't read it, talk about a harrowing tale!
By the time Richard turns ten, he's burned down a house, strangled a kitten, gotten drunk, he's been abandoned by his father, jumped by a street gang, been sent to an orphanage, the list goes on and on.
So finally after all of this, he's sent to live with his grandmother who's a seven day adventist, a real fire and brimstone christian.
When Richard gets to his grandmother's place, one of the stipulations is that he has to go to her church to worship "her God." The minute he attends his first service, Richard starts running down what he's supposed to believe. He talks about the sun exploding in a pool of blood, bones turning to dust, demons coming out of the ground to rip the flesh from your bones, men walking across water, people being risen from the grave, etc.
PAUSE.
A little information on my kids, most of them are Christian in one form or another.
Now the reason we went over this section of the book was to demonstrate that as frightening as all this stuff sounds, it's got nothing on Richard's life. I mean, this kid has literally lived through hell already, right?
This is all standard Book of Revelations, armageddon stuff. It's in the Bible, the Christian Bible, which for the record I have no problem with. To each his own.
So I run down this frightening list for the class and I ask them what religion does Richard's grandmother worship and this one kid raises his hand and in all sincerity says...
...Satanism?
Priceless.
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
Kids are funny, man.
So my juniors are still reading Richard Wright's autobiography, Black Boy. If you haven't read it, talk about a harrowing tale!
By the time Richard turns ten, he's burned down a house, strangled a kitten, gotten drunk, he's been abandoned by his father, jumped by a street gang, been sent to an orphanage, the list goes on and on.
So finally after all of this, he's sent to live with his grandmother who's a seven day adventist, a real fire and brimstone christian.
When Richard gets to his grandmother's place, one of the stipulations is that he has to go to her church to worship "her God." The minute he attends his first service, Richard starts running down what he's supposed to believe. He talks about the sun exploding in a pool of blood, bones turning to dust, demons coming out of the ground to rip the flesh from your bones, men walking across water, people being risen from the grave, etc.
PAUSE.
A little information on my kids, most of them are Christian in one form or another.
Now the reason we went over this section of the book was to demonstrate that as frightening as all this stuff sounds, it's got nothing on Richard's life. I mean, this kid has literally lived through hell already, right?
This is all standard Book of Revelations, armageddon stuff. It's in the Bible, the Christian Bible, which for the record I have no problem with. To each his own.
So I run down this frightening list for the class and I ask them what religion does Richard's grandmother worship and this one kid raises his hand and in all sincerity says...
...Satanism?
Priceless.
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Day Forty-Six
For those of you just tuning in, "This Guy is Falling" follows the educational exploits of Mr. Birds-Eye, a high school teacher in his third year of teaching, traditionally the make or break year in the profession. Fearing that he has finally reached his wits end, Birds-Eye decides to write a blog in hopes that he can reboot his year by focusing on the positives of the profession.
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
So while I was on vacation my students watched Malcolm X. When I got back on Tuesday, several students reported that they hated the film.
No big thing.
To get back in the swing of things, I had my students read their Level Four Questions (see blog, Day 12 ) from Black Boy.
Here's a taste.
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
STUDENT #1 (reading question) - "Why are people hesitant to learn new things?"
TEACHER - Why?
STUDENT #1 - Because they got to put the work in.
STUDENT #2 - My grandma hasn't bought a new phone in years because she doesn't want to learn the new buttons.
The CLASS LAUGHS.
TEACHER - Okay so that's an old lady. Do little kids like learning new things?
STUDENT #2 - Yeah. Because new things are exciting. They're new.
TEACHER - So why do we lose that excitement over time? We're still exposed to new things, right?
STUDENT #1 - Yeah, but we know we got to learn it. Little kids don't even know they're learning.
TEACHER - They're like a sponge. Okay, so lets talk about Malcolm X.
The TEACHER turns to a STUDENT who hated the film.
TEACHER (to Student #3) - So you hated the film, why?
STUDENT #3 - Because it was looooong and boring.
TEACHER - Why was it loooong and boring?
STUDENT #3 - Because I didn't need to learn about him being with that white ho. It was way too much information.
TEACHER - So you didn't think it was important to his whole changeover into a Black Muslim?
STUDENT #3 - Yeah, it was important, but I didn't need to learn that.
TEACHER - Okay, so you didn't like the film, but can we agree that at least you learned that you didn't like it. As opposed to you never seeing it and never learning anything about Malcolm X.
STUDENT #3 - I really don't know why it'd be important for me to know about him.
TEACHER - Okay, I'll tell you why. One day you're going to be in New York and you're going to look up at Malcolm X Blvd. and you're little son is going to say, "Mommy, what's a Malcolm X?"
STUDENT #3 - I'm going to have a daughter.
TEACHER - And you're going to say," Well, Malcolm X was in this long, boring movie this teacher made me watch in school." And then you're daughter is going to say, "What's the X stand for?" And you're going to say, "Well, it's not a Roman numeral. He named himself Malcolm X because he denounced his slave name and chose an X as a sign of protest." And then you're daughter's going to say, "Wow, Mom you're smart!"
STUDENT #3 - I am smart.
TEACHER - Now what if you never saw the movie? This is what would happen in that same scenario. "Mommy, what's Malcolm X?" "That's Malcolm Ten, honey." And you'd keep walking.
The CLASS LAUGHS.
TEACHER - Get the point?
END SCENE
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
So while I was on vacation my students watched Malcolm X. When I got back on Tuesday, several students reported that they hated the film.
No big thing.
To get back in the swing of things, I had my students read their Level Four Questions (see blog, Day 12 ) from Black Boy.
Here's a taste.
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
STUDENT #1 (reading question) - "Why are people hesitant to learn new things?"
TEACHER - Why?
STUDENT #1 - Because they got to put the work in.
STUDENT #2 - My grandma hasn't bought a new phone in years because she doesn't want to learn the new buttons.
The CLASS LAUGHS.
TEACHER - Okay so that's an old lady. Do little kids like learning new things?
STUDENT #2 - Yeah. Because new things are exciting. They're new.
TEACHER - So why do we lose that excitement over time? We're still exposed to new things, right?
STUDENT #1 - Yeah, but we know we got to learn it. Little kids don't even know they're learning.
TEACHER - They're like a sponge. Okay, so lets talk about Malcolm X.
The TEACHER turns to a STUDENT who hated the film.
TEACHER (to Student #3) - So you hated the film, why?
STUDENT #3 - Because it was looooong and boring.
TEACHER - Why was it loooong and boring?
STUDENT #3 - Because I didn't need to learn about him being with that white ho. It was way too much information.
TEACHER - So you didn't think it was important to his whole changeover into a Black Muslim?
STUDENT #3 - Yeah, it was important, but I didn't need to learn that.
TEACHER - Okay, so you didn't like the film, but can we agree that at least you learned that you didn't like it. As opposed to you never seeing it and never learning anything about Malcolm X.
STUDENT #3 - I really don't know why it'd be important for me to know about him.
TEACHER - Okay, I'll tell you why. One day you're going to be in New York and you're going to look up at Malcolm X Blvd. and you're little son is going to say, "Mommy, what's a Malcolm X?"
STUDENT #3 - I'm going to have a daughter.
TEACHER - And you're going to say," Well, Malcolm X was in this long, boring movie this teacher made me watch in school." And then you're daughter is going to say, "What's the X stand for?" And you're going to say, "Well, it's not a Roman numeral. He named himself Malcolm X because he denounced his slave name and chose an X as a sign of protest." And then you're daughter's going to say, "Wow, Mom you're smart!"
STUDENT #3 - I am smart.
TEACHER - Now what if you never saw the movie? This is what would happen in that same scenario. "Mommy, what's Malcolm X?" "That's Malcolm Ten, honey." And you'd keep walking.
The CLASS LAUGHS.
TEACHER - Get the point?
END SCENE
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
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