For those of you just tuning in, "This Guy is Falling" follows the educational exploits of Mr. Birds-Eye, a high school teacher in his third year of teaching, traditionally the make or break year in the profession. Fearing that he has finally reached his wits end, Birds-Eye decides to write a blog in hopes that he can reboot his year by focusing on the positives of the profession.
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
Headed out to Missouri tomorrow so this'll be my last post for a couple of weeks.
Taking off from work is always hard for me. Not because I don't want to, it's just...
Getting lesson plans together for a sub is often more annoying than just showing up to work. This time I said, "Screw it! I'm showing a movie...a long one."
Malcolm X, anyone?
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
Teacher - So I'm going to be gone for three days.
Student #1 - Are we going to watch a movie?
Teacher - Yeah, Malcolm X. Anyone seen it?
Student #2 - Oh, man! We watched that already in history class!
Teacher - Then I'll guess you'll be a Malcolm X expert.
Student #1 (giggling) - Mr. Birds-Eye, you said Malcolm X - pert!
END SCENCE
A real knee slapper.
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off for a week or two?
Birds-Eye
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Monday, March 28, 2011
Day Forty-Three
For those of you just tuning in, "This Guy is Falling" follows the educational exploits of Mr. Birds-Eye, a high school teacher in his third year of teaching, traditionally the make or break year in the profession. Fearing that he has finally reached his wits end, Birds-Eye decides to write a blog in hopes that he can reboot his year by focusing on the positives of the profession.
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
My juniors have been watching Spike Lee's Do the Right Thing for the last week. For those of you who haven't seen the film, the movie focuses on how disrespect can lead to violence.
As they watch the film, my students take note of the characters' "wants" and how they're often not being met.
Today, we watched the scene where Mookie, an absentee father, finally shows up at his girlfriend's place for a booty call. Rather than bowing down to Mookie's needs, Tina shuts him down, forcing him to devise a plan B. He actually talks to his son...for thirty second.
INT. CLASSROOM - CLASS
Teacher - What are Mookie's wants?
Student (mumbling) - He wants to see his son.
Teacher - He wants to see his son? Are you sure about that?
Student - I said he wants to get some!
END SCENE
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
My juniors have been watching Spike Lee's Do the Right Thing for the last week. For those of you who haven't seen the film, the movie focuses on how disrespect can lead to violence.
As they watch the film, my students take note of the characters' "wants" and how they're often not being met.
Today, we watched the scene where Mookie, an absentee father, finally shows up at his girlfriend's place for a booty call. Rather than bowing down to Mookie's needs, Tina shuts him down, forcing him to devise a plan B. He actually talks to his son...for thirty second.
INT. CLASSROOM - CLASS
Teacher - What are Mookie's wants?
Student (mumbling) - He wants to see his son.
Teacher - He wants to see his son? Are you sure about that?
Student - I said he wants to get some!
END SCENE
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
Friday, March 25, 2011
Day Forty-Two
For those of you just tuning in, "This Guy is Falling" follows the educational exploits of Mr. Birds-Eye, a high school teacher in his third year of teaching, traditionally the make or break year in the profession. Fearing that he has finally reached his wits end, Birds-Eye decides to write a blog in hopes that he can reboot his year by focusing on the positives of the profession.
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
Kids hate doing worksheets. I know. I was a kid too. But it never ceases to amaze me the kind of excuses they'll come up with to avoid doing them.
Here's a timeless classic for your viewing pleasure:
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
A Teacher hands out, yet another WORKSHEET, which is met with a collective GROAN from the Class.
Student - Mr. Birds-Eye, you love wasting paper.
Mr. Birds-Eye - I know. It's great.
Student - You're killing so many trees.
Mr. Birds-Eye - I know. I hate trees. I only care about people.
Student - Yeah, but if you kill all the trees they can't make oxygen and then all the people die.
END SCENE
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
Kids hate doing worksheets. I know. I was a kid too. But it never ceases to amaze me the kind of excuses they'll come up with to avoid doing them.
Here's a timeless classic for your viewing pleasure:
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
A Teacher hands out, yet another WORKSHEET, which is met with a collective GROAN from the Class.
Student - Mr. Birds-Eye, you love wasting paper.
Mr. Birds-Eye - I know. It's great.
Student - You're killing so many trees.
Mr. Birds-Eye - I know. I hate trees. I only care about people.
Student - Yeah, but if you kill all the trees they can't make oxygen and then all the people die.
END SCENE
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Day Forty-One
For those of you just tuning in, "This Guy is Falling" follows the educational exploits of Mr. Birds-Eye, a high school teacher in his third year of teaching, traditionally the make or break year in the profession. Fearing that he has finally reached his wits end, Birds-Eye decides to write a blog in hopes that he can reboot his year by focusing on the positives of the profession.
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
Teaching is all about repetition. I teach two sections (three junior classes/two sophomores) so over the course of a day I repeat myself a lot. Students hate repetition. They get bored easily so they try their best to take me off the beaten track, aka a tangent. Occasionally, I humor them.
Hey, I get bored too!
Here's such an exchange:
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
Girl - Mr. Birds-Eye, is a fish a fish?
Me - What?
Girl - Is a fish a fish? Like a whale is mammal, but it swims. I'm confused.
Me - Yeah, a fish is a species. You also got reptiles, mammals, amphibians, birds, and fish.
Girl - Then why don't you say I'm eating a mammal when you're eating a steak?
Me - Because it'd be too confusing. You could be eating a cow, or a sheep, or a...
Other Student - ...Human.
Girl - Ooohhh!
Other Student - Hey, we're mammals too!
END SCENE
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
Teaching is all about repetition. I teach two sections (three junior classes/two sophomores) so over the course of a day I repeat myself a lot. Students hate repetition. They get bored easily so they try their best to take me off the beaten track, aka a tangent. Occasionally, I humor them.
Hey, I get bored too!
Here's such an exchange:
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
Girl - Mr. Birds-Eye, is a fish a fish?
Me - What?
Girl - Is a fish a fish? Like a whale is mammal, but it swims. I'm confused.
Me - Yeah, a fish is a species. You also got reptiles, mammals, amphibians, birds, and fish.
Girl - Then why don't you say I'm eating a mammal when you're eating a steak?
Me - Because it'd be too confusing. You could be eating a cow, or a sheep, or a...
Other Student - ...Human.
Girl - Ooohhh!
Other Student - Hey, we're mammals too!
END SCENE
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Day Forty
For those of you just tuning in, "This Guy is Falling" follows the educational exploits of Mr. Birds-Eye, a high school teacher in his third year of teaching, traditionally the make or break year in the profession. Fearing that he has finally reached his wits end, Birds-Eye decides to write a blog in hopes that he can reboot his year by focusing on the positives of the profession.
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
Here's a quick one.
So my school has a silent sustained reading program where students are supposed to read twenty minutes a day. It's a great idea, but like most great ideas...
In short, a lot of kids just grab a book and pretend to read. Today I caught a girl turned to the middle of the book.
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
Teacher (to Girl) - You know, if you're going to pretend to read you might as well do it right. Turn to page one.
As the Girl turns to page one, five other Students follow her lead.
END SCENE
Unbelievable!
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
Here's a quick one.
So my school has a silent sustained reading program where students are supposed to read twenty minutes a day. It's a great idea, but like most great ideas...
In short, a lot of kids just grab a book and pretend to read. Today I caught a girl turned to the middle of the book.
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
Teacher (to Girl) - You know, if you're going to pretend to read you might as well do it right. Turn to page one.
As the Girl turns to page one, five other Students follow her lead.
END SCENE
Unbelievable!
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
Monday, March 21, 2011
Day Thirty-Nine
Kids are funny.
My sophomores are writing research papers, and these are the type of questions they're asking me.
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
Girl - Mr. Birds-Eye, did Obama fulfill his dream?
Me - What?
Girl - Did Obama have a dream to be president?
Me - I don't know. Why don't you research that?
Girl (disgusted) Uggghhhh.
END SCENE
Later on, I showed them what they're getting in the class, and this is what the same girl said.
INT. CLASSROOM - LATER
Me - You're getting a B+.
Girl - 89.9% isn't that an A-?
Me - I don't know. Ask Obama.
END SCENE
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
My sophomores are writing research papers, and these are the type of questions they're asking me.
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
Girl - Mr. Birds-Eye, did Obama fulfill his dream?
Me - What?
Girl - Did Obama have a dream to be president?
Me - I don't know. Why don't you research that?
Girl (disgusted) Uggghhhh.
END SCENE
Later on, I showed them what they're getting in the class, and this is what the same girl said.
INT. CLASSROOM - LATER
Me - You're getting a B+.
Girl - 89.9% isn't that an A-?
Me - I don't know. Ask Obama.
END SCENE
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
Friday, March 18, 2011
Day Thirty-Eight
For those of you just tuning in, "This Guy is Falling" follows the educational exploits of Mr. Birds-Eye, a high school teacher in his third year of teaching, traditionally the make or break year in the profession. Fearing that he has finally reached his wits end, Birds-Eye decides to write a blog in hopes that he can reboot his year by focusing on the positives of the profession.
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
One scary thing about being a teacher is kids pretty much believe everything you say. You're the teacher, right? You're supposed to know everything.
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
Student - Mr. Birds-Eye, there's going to be an earthquake tomorrow.
Teacher - What? Don't believe that bull...oney. You talking about the super moon?
Student - Super moon?
Teacher - You didn't hear about that? Tomorrow night the moon's going to appear in the sky with a giant S across it.
Ten Students stare at me, WIDE EYED!
Students (collectively) Really?
END SCENE
I can't make up this stuff, folks.
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
One scary thing about being a teacher is kids pretty much believe everything you say. You're the teacher, right? You're supposed to know everything.
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
Student - Mr. Birds-Eye, there's going to be an earthquake tomorrow.
Teacher - What? Don't believe that bull...oney. You talking about the super moon?
Student - Super moon?
Teacher - You didn't hear about that? Tomorrow night the moon's going to appear in the sky with a giant S across it.
Ten Students stare at me, WIDE EYED!
Students (collectively) Really?
END SCENE
I can't make up this stuff, folks.
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Day Thirty-Seven
For those of you just tuning in, "This Guy is Falling" follows the educational exploits of Mr. Birds-Eye, a high school teacher in his third year of teaching, traditionally the make or break year in the profession. Fearing that he has finally reached his wits end, Birds-Eye decides to write a blog in hopes that he can reboot his year by focusing on the positives of the profession.
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
Here's two short ones.
Juniors:
Continued our discussion on racial discrimination. This time we focused on the Irish (hey, it's Saint Patrick's Day!) and Puerto Ricans.
I started the class by going over the Irish Potato Famine which killed one million people and sent another million packing.
Here's what I got.
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
Teacher - Does anyone know how the Irish came to America?
Student (dead serious) - They followed a rainbow?
The Class ROARS with LAUGHTER!
END SCENE
Sophomores:
My sophomores are writing their research papers, and needless to say, a few of them don't know what they're doing.
INT. CLASSROOM - LATER
Teacher - What are you writing about?
Student - Ummm....On why people give up on things.
Teacher - Can you be more specific?
Blank stare.
Teacher - Okay. You could do addiction?
Student - Right. Like if you're high you can't do much because you're high.
Teacher - Good, but you have to bring up three reasons. That's one. What's another?
Blank stare.
Teacher - Okay, how about you can't get much done because you're spending all your time driving around trying to find drugs?
Student - I wouldn't know.
Teacher - Of course not.
Student - I don't drive.
The Class ROARS with LAUGHTER!
END SCENE
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
Here's two short ones.
Juniors:
Continued our discussion on racial discrimination. This time we focused on the Irish (hey, it's Saint Patrick's Day!) and Puerto Ricans.
I started the class by going over the Irish Potato Famine which killed one million people and sent another million packing.
Here's what I got.
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
Teacher - Does anyone know how the Irish came to America?
Student (dead serious) - They followed a rainbow?
The Class ROARS with LAUGHTER!
END SCENE
Sophomores:
My sophomores are writing their research papers, and needless to say, a few of them don't know what they're doing.
INT. CLASSROOM - LATER
Teacher - What are you writing about?
Student - Ummm....On why people give up on things.
Teacher - Can you be more specific?
Blank stare.
Teacher - Okay. You could do addiction?
Student - Right. Like if you're high you can't do much because you're high.
Teacher - Good, but you have to bring up three reasons. That's one. What's another?
Blank stare.
Teacher - Okay, how about you can't get much done because you're spending all your time driving around trying to find drugs?
Student - I wouldn't know.
Teacher - Of course not.
Student - I don't drive.
The Class ROARS with LAUGHTER!
END SCENE
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Day Thirty-Six
For those of you just tuning in, "This Guy is Falling" follows the educational exploits of Mr. Birds-Eye, a high school teacher in his third year of teaching, traditionally the make or break year in the profession. Fearing that he has finally reached his wits end, Birds-Eye decides to write a blog in hopes that he can reboot his year by focusing on the positives of the profession.
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
Had a real interesting day today.
Continued discussing race relations with my juniors, focusing on the question: "Is it okay for a person to put down their own race?"
I got a variety of answers.
Some said it was okay because it shows you don't take yourself too seriously. Others said it was acceptable because it's your race and you should be able to say whatever you want. And still others thought it wasn't okay because not only are you disrespecting yourself, but you're also disrespecting the people who came before you.
Once everyone said their piece, I asked them if they made fun of their race to people from the same race, or people from a different race? Most of them said they made fun of their race to their friends from different races.
Why?
After some thought almost everyone said, they made fun of themselves as a preemptive strategy so their friends couldn't make fun of them first.
Wow.
I then asked them why they felt the need to distance themselves from their race?
Almost everyone said to make themselves feel better so they could feel superior.
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
Teacher - How can you feel superior if you have to demean yourself just to make friends?
SILENCE. A lot of them hadn't thought of that before.
END SCENE
We then moved along to the dreaded "N Word."
As I walk around my school, I frequently hear the N-word, but it's not coming from Black people.
So I called them on it.
INT. CLASSROOM - LATER
Teacher - Who used the N word in here?
Several Kids raise their hands.
Teacher - Why?
Student #1 - It's not racial. It's just like you see one of your boys and you say, "What's up nigga'?"
Student #2 - It comes from the music we listen to.
Teacher - Right. Hip-hop.
Student #3 - Yeah, the word just evolved. It's not racist anymore.
Teacher - That's a rather naive way of looking at it. Who gave you permission to decide that it's not racist?
They SHRUG their shoulders.
Student #1 - Well niggER, that's racist. But niggA' that's okay.
Teacher - And you think Black people are okay with it?
Student #2 - Some of my friends are Black and they're okay with it.
Teacher - So just because you have a few Black friends who say it's okay you're going to hold a whole race to that?
They don't know what to say.
Teacher (to Student #2) - What race are you? What's your ethnicity?
Student #2 - Mexican.
Teacher - What's a slang term for a Mexican?
Student #2 - Beaner.
Teacher - So if you were walking down the hallway and a bunch of kids who weren't Mexican were saying, "What's up beaner" to each other. You'd be okay with that?
Student #2 - No, that's messed up.
Teacher - Oh, I'm sorry. Did I say beaner? I meant, beana'!
Student #2 laughs.
Teacher - Get the point?
He nods his head.
END SCENE
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
Had a real interesting day today.
Continued discussing race relations with my juniors, focusing on the question: "Is it okay for a person to put down their own race?"
I got a variety of answers.
Some said it was okay because it shows you don't take yourself too seriously. Others said it was acceptable because it's your race and you should be able to say whatever you want. And still others thought it wasn't okay because not only are you disrespecting yourself, but you're also disrespecting the people who came before you.
Once everyone said their piece, I asked them if they made fun of their race to people from the same race, or people from a different race? Most of them said they made fun of their race to their friends from different races.
Why?
After some thought almost everyone said, they made fun of themselves as a preemptive strategy so their friends couldn't make fun of them first.
Wow.
I then asked them why they felt the need to distance themselves from their race?
Almost everyone said to make themselves feel better so they could feel superior.
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
Teacher - How can you feel superior if you have to demean yourself just to make friends?
SILENCE. A lot of them hadn't thought of that before.
END SCENE
We then moved along to the dreaded "N Word."
As I walk around my school, I frequently hear the N-word, but it's not coming from Black people.
So I called them on it.
INT. CLASSROOM - LATER
Teacher - Who used the N word in here?
Several Kids raise their hands.
Teacher - Why?
Student #1 - It's not racial. It's just like you see one of your boys and you say, "What's up nigga'?"
Student #2 - It comes from the music we listen to.
Teacher - Right. Hip-hop.
Student #3 - Yeah, the word just evolved. It's not racist anymore.
Teacher - That's a rather naive way of looking at it. Who gave you permission to decide that it's not racist?
They SHRUG their shoulders.
Student #1 - Well niggER, that's racist. But niggA' that's okay.
Teacher - And you think Black people are okay with it?
Student #2 - Some of my friends are Black and they're okay with it.
Teacher - So just because you have a few Black friends who say it's okay you're going to hold a whole race to that?
They don't know what to say.
Teacher (to Student #2) - What race are you? What's your ethnicity?
Student #2 - Mexican.
Teacher - What's a slang term for a Mexican?
Student #2 - Beaner.
Teacher - So if you were walking down the hallway and a bunch of kids who weren't Mexican were saying, "What's up beaner" to each other. You'd be okay with that?
Student #2 - No, that's messed up.
Teacher - Oh, I'm sorry. Did I say beaner? I meant, beana'!
Student #2 laughs.
Teacher - Get the point?
He nods his head.
END SCENE
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Day Thirty-Five
For those of you just tuning in, "This Guy is Falling" follows the educational exploits of Mr. Birds-Eye, a high school teacher in his third year of teaching, traditionally the make or break year in the profession. Fearing that he has finally reached his wits end, Birds-Eye decides to write a blog in hopes that he can reboot his year by focusing on the positives of the profession.
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
So I had an interesting experience last night (Saturday). I ran into an ex student of mine at a birthday party, or at least I think he was an ex student of mine. He told me he was.
Why don't I know for sure (see Blog entry, Day Six)?
In short, once a student leaves your classroom. Brain wipe.
So anyway, I'm at this party for one of my wife's work friends and this kid comes up to me and says, "Do you remember me, sir?"
Sir?
Now I could have played it off and said, "Hey, man. How are you?" But I didn't. I just looked at him and said, "From where?"
That's how oblivious I was.
It turns out I was a long term sub for this kids years ago so it was no big deal. The kid understood. After all, he had to learn six names (one teacher's name per period). I have to learn 170, and it never ceases to amaze me how easy it is to forget. I swear sometimes after a three day weekend. I'll look at a kid's paper and say, "Who is this?"
Anyway as I chatted with this kid (19-20 years old), a couple of things started rolling around in my head. First off, the "sir" thing. I don't dig "Sir." I'm only thirty-four years old...But I'm a teacher...
So I guess I am a "Sir?"
Cold shivers race up my spine.
The next thing that bothered me were the questions I was asking this kid, things like, "Are you going to school?"
Jeez, I am a teacher!
Finally, the language I was using bothered me.
Now inside the classroom, I very rarely curse, sometimes it happens...On accident! But never the f-bomb.
But while I talked with this kid, I felt self conscience as I peppered the conversation with assorted f-words and such.
I mean he was smiling, but I felt horrible. This is coming from a guy who can't finish a sentence without using the f-word (hey, I love adjectives. What can I say?).
So all these uncomfortable feelings lead to one pretty obvious conclusion:
I'm a role model.
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
So I had an interesting experience last night (Saturday). I ran into an ex student of mine at a birthday party, or at least I think he was an ex student of mine. He told me he was.
Why don't I know for sure (see Blog entry, Day Six)?
In short, once a student leaves your classroom. Brain wipe.
So anyway, I'm at this party for one of my wife's work friends and this kid comes up to me and says, "Do you remember me, sir?"
Sir?
Now I could have played it off and said, "Hey, man. How are you?" But I didn't. I just looked at him and said, "From where?"
That's how oblivious I was.
It turns out I was a long term sub for this kids years ago so it was no big deal. The kid understood. After all, he had to learn six names (one teacher's name per period). I have to learn 170, and it never ceases to amaze me how easy it is to forget. I swear sometimes after a three day weekend. I'll look at a kid's paper and say, "Who is this?"
Anyway as I chatted with this kid (19-20 years old), a couple of things started rolling around in my head. First off, the "sir" thing. I don't dig "Sir." I'm only thirty-four years old...But I'm a teacher...
So I guess I am a "Sir?"
Cold shivers race up my spine.
The next thing that bothered me were the questions I was asking this kid, things like, "Are you going to school?"
Jeez, I am a teacher!
Finally, the language I was using bothered me.
Now inside the classroom, I very rarely curse, sometimes it happens...On accident! But never the f-bomb.
But while I talked with this kid, I felt self conscience as I peppered the conversation with assorted f-words and such.
I mean he was smiling, but I felt horrible. This is coming from a guy who can't finish a sentence without using the f-word (hey, I love adjectives. What can I say?).
So all these uncomfortable feelings lead to one pretty obvious conclusion:
I'm a role model.
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Day Thirty-Four
For those of you just tuning in, "This Guy is Falling" follows the educational exploits of Mr. Birds-Eye, a high school teacher in his third year of teaching, traditionally the make or break year in the profession. Fearing that he has finally reached his wits end, Birds-Eye decides to write a blog in hopes that he can reboot his year by focusing on the positives of the profession.
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
An outtake from Wednesday:
Continued discussing Asian American stereotypes with my juniors (see Blog entry, Day 30-31).
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
ASIAN STUDENT (to Teacher) - Why are Asian's called yellow?
BLACK STUDENT - It's because we have to call you something. African Americans are black, caucasians white, Latinos brown, Indians red, and Asians are yellow.
ASIAN STUDENT - We did black and white. What does it say in the dictionary for yellow?
Teacher gets DICTIONARY and looks up "yellow."
TEACHER (reading) - "Yellow slang for cowardly."
All the Asian Students GROAN!
Teacher - Hey, don't look at me. Blame Crayola!
Class LAUGHS.
END SCENE
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
An outtake from Wednesday:
Continued discussing Asian American stereotypes with my juniors (see Blog entry, Day 30-31).
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
ASIAN STUDENT (to Teacher) - Why are Asian's called yellow?
BLACK STUDENT - It's because we have to call you something. African Americans are black, caucasians white, Latinos brown, Indians red, and Asians are yellow.
ASIAN STUDENT - We did black and white. What does it say in the dictionary for yellow?
Teacher gets DICTIONARY and looks up "yellow."
TEACHER (reading) - "Yellow slang for cowardly."
All the Asian Students GROAN!
Teacher - Hey, don't look at me. Blame Crayola!
Class LAUGHS.
END SCENE
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
Friday, March 11, 2011
Day Thirty-Three
For those of you just tuning in, "This Guy is Falling" follows the educational exploits of Mr. Birds-Eye, a high school teacher in his third year of teaching, traditionally the make or break year in the profession. Fearing that he has finally reached his wits end, Birds-Eye decides to write a blog in hopes that he can reboot his year by focusing on the positives of the profession.
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
Continued "A Children's Story' with my sophomores (see Blog, Day Thirty-Two).
After we finished, the kids were surprised that in twenty five minutes someone could brainwash a whole class, using something as simple as candy.
I then asked them why it was so easy for the New Teacher to do this? Here's what they had to say:
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
Students - They were just kids. Kids are gullible.
Teacher - And you aren't? You'd be immune to the teacher's charms?
The Kids all shake their heads, "Yes."
Teacher - What's immune mean?
No says anything.
Teacher - If you know what immune means, raise your hand.
Eight kids, in a class of thirty-five, RAISE their HANDS.
Teacher - So eight of you know what the words means? What about the rest of you? Why didn't you ask me what immune meant when I used it?
No one says anything.
Teacher - No one. You're just waiting for the "right" answer. So if I said, "Immune means 'listen.'" You'd all believe me. You'd go home and say I'm immuning to Lady Gaga right now.
The Class LAUGHS.
Teacher - Just because I'm a teacher you believe me?
They all shake their heads, "Yes."
Teacher (to student who raised his hand) - What's immune mean?
Student - Like protected?
Teacher - Good how did you learn the definition?
PAUSE
So I thought this Kid was going to say, "I read it, or maybe I looked it up in the dictionary."
PLAY
Student - Video games.
Teacher - Video games? Are you being sarcastic?
Student - No, I learned it from video games. Pokemon is immune to sandstorms!
Note: Pokemon is a popular video game character.
Teacher - So what's the moral of the story?
Student - If you want to boost your vocabulary play Pokemon!
END SCENE
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
Continued "A Children's Story' with my sophomores (see Blog, Day Thirty-Two).
After we finished, the kids were surprised that in twenty five minutes someone could brainwash a whole class, using something as simple as candy.
I then asked them why it was so easy for the New Teacher to do this? Here's what they had to say:
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
Students - They were just kids. Kids are gullible.
Teacher - And you aren't? You'd be immune to the teacher's charms?
The Kids all shake their heads, "Yes."
Teacher - What's immune mean?
No says anything.
Teacher - If you know what immune means, raise your hand.
Eight kids, in a class of thirty-five, RAISE their HANDS.
Teacher - So eight of you know what the words means? What about the rest of you? Why didn't you ask me what immune meant when I used it?
No one says anything.
Teacher - No one. You're just waiting for the "right" answer. So if I said, "Immune means 'listen.'" You'd all believe me. You'd go home and say I'm immuning to Lady Gaga right now.
The Class LAUGHS.
Teacher - Just because I'm a teacher you believe me?
They all shake their heads, "Yes."
Teacher (to student who raised his hand) - What's immune mean?
Student - Like protected?
Teacher - Good how did you learn the definition?
PAUSE
So I thought this Kid was going to say, "I read it, or maybe I looked it up in the dictionary."
PLAY
Student - Video games.
Teacher - Video games? Are you being sarcastic?
Student - No, I learned it from video games. Pokemon is immune to sandstorms!
Note: Pokemon is a popular video game character.
Teacher - So what's the moral of the story?
Student - If you want to boost your vocabulary play Pokemon!
END SCENE
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Day Thirty-Two
For those of you just tuning in, "This Guy is Falling" follows the educational exploits of Mr. Birds-Eye, a high school teacher in his third year of teaching, traditionally the make or break year in the profession. Fearing that he has finally reached his wits end, Birds-Eye decides to write a blog in hopes that he can reboot his year by focusing on the positives of the profession.
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
Not much to talk about today.
Started reading James Clavell's "A Children's Story" with my sophomores. The story was written during the height of the Cold War, and it's basically about brainwashing. In the story, a new teacher enters a third grade classroom, and in the space of thirty odd minutes, she manages to destroy the concepts of country, family, and God. What's even scarier is she does this using simple tricks: she sings them a song, sits on the floor, and gives them candy.
As I read the story to my class, I was reminded me of an old Irish saying my Dad used to say, "He sold his soul for a penny role."
Take that to the bank, sucka'!
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
Not much to talk about today.
Started reading James Clavell's "A Children's Story" with my sophomores. The story was written during the height of the Cold War, and it's basically about brainwashing. In the story, a new teacher enters a third grade classroom, and in the space of thirty odd minutes, she manages to destroy the concepts of country, family, and God. What's even scarier is she does this using simple tricks: she sings them a song, sits on the floor, and gives them candy.
As I read the story to my class, I was reminded me of an old Irish saying my Dad used to say, "He sold his soul for a penny role."
Take that to the bank, sucka'!
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Day Thirty-One
For those of you just tuning in, "This Guy is Falling" follows the educational exploits of Mr. Birds-Eye, a high school teacher in his third year of teaching, traditionally the make or break year in the profession. Fearing that he has finally reached his wits end, Birds-Eye decides to write a blog in hopes that he can reboot his year by focusing on the positives of the profession.
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
Had an interesting day. Continued to discuss racism with my juniors, who are reading Black Boy.
Today, we discussed Asian stereotypes, focusing on the belief that all Asians are "smart."
It was really interesting. Most cultures would be stoked if their race was known as "smart", but the article we read focused primarily on the negative side effects of this expectation. A lot of my Asian students shared about how it's a burden because if you aren't, quote on quote, "smart" you feel really bad about yourself.
The article also talked about how some Asian kids turn their backs on this stereotype by going the other way (partying, cutting class, flunking out) because they don't want to be looked upon as "nerds."
I have a few of these kids in my class, most notably a boy who is openly gay. As I read the article this is what he said:
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
A Teacher reads an ARTICLE to the Class.
Teacher (reading) - "Other New Waver (Asian underachievers) simply told me that they wanted to be 'cool.' They defined 'cool' people as those who are fashionable dressers..."
Boy - High five! That's me!
Teacher - "...Good dancers..."
Boy - Yep!
Teacher - "...Partygoers..."
Boy - Oh, I'm all over that one!
Teacher - "...And popular, especially with the opposite sex."
Boy - Oooh, gross!
Class LAUGHS!
END OF SCENE
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
And I'm happy to report that it's been working.
Had an interesting day. Continued to discuss racism with my juniors, who are reading Black Boy.
Today, we discussed Asian stereotypes, focusing on the belief that all Asians are "smart."
It was really interesting. Most cultures would be stoked if their race was known as "smart", but the article we read focused primarily on the negative side effects of this expectation. A lot of my Asian students shared about how it's a burden because if you aren't, quote on quote, "smart" you feel really bad about yourself.
The article also talked about how some Asian kids turn their backs on this stereotype by going the other way (partying, cutting class, flunking out) because they don't want to be looked upon as "nerds."
I have a few of these kids in my class, most notably a boy who is openly gay. As I read the article this is what he said:
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
A Teacher reads an ARTICLE to the Class.
Teacher (reading) - "Other New Waver (Asian underachievers) simply told me that they wanted to be 'cool.' They defined 'cool' people as those who are fashionable dressers..."
Boy - High five! That's me!
Teacher - "...Good dancers..."
Boy - Yep!
Teacher - "...Partygoers..."
Boy - Oh, I'm all over that one!
Teacher - "...And popular, especially with the opposite sex."
Boy - Oooh, gross!
Class LAUGHS!
END OF SCENE
And that in a nutshell is why I still like teaching.
Signing off.
Birds-Eye
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